Dear VA plate JPX-2457,
When you passed me a few days ago, heading straight in the right-turn only lane, I thought to myself, "there goes another inconsiderate driver". I remember wondering if you failed to understand what the big white right pointing arrow and the huge lettered "ONLY" markings in the road were for. I can see how one could miss the signs approaching the intersection about the right lane with all of that traffic sitting idle in the straight lane. It must have been distracting as at your speed you would have been trying to avoid hitting the stopped cars in the road.
For thinking these thoughts I want to apologize, I now realize I jumped to a hasty first impression. After witnessing you pass the 15 or so cars all patiently waiting their turn in the straight lane again this morning, and barreling down the right turn only lane, I realized you must have a special license that grants you these privileges. It was so foolish of me to lump you into the same category as other people who have no regard for safety on our roads.
Obviously your important and critical position at work makes it imperative that you arrive promptly, with no time lost waiting in traffic with the "common" folk. I'd like to know how you qualify for the type of license that allows you to disregard the "regular" rules of the road? I'm hoping I might qualify too. I could use the extra few minutes in the office to write my creative blog posts, get an extra cup of coffee, or talk to office mates about some fantasy football.
I'd also like to know what other privileges this special license affords you. I already witnessed the speeding and tailgating that you demonstrated further after rolling through the stop sign. Those are good perks for those cases were you get trapped behind those pesky law abiding citizens. I did notice you used your blinker just before your abrupt lane changes, is this a requirement, or were you going for some style points? I'd think signaling your intentions to others should be well below your stature with this special license.
I'd specifically like to know if this licenses allow you to turn right-on-red even when the intersection is posted against that ability. Or better yet, can you make the right-on-red turn from the center lane? On my way to work I could use that clause to cut out a whole light cycle I think.
I'm prepared to waive my personal safety and the safety of others if that is required on this special license application. I can't wait to hear back from you on how to proceed. In the meantime, I'll be watching for you to see what other perks you have, as I'm sure there must be some other options available to you.
Thank you, and again, sorry for thinking those harsh thoughts the other day.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Dear VA plate JPX-2457,